The Phrases given by My Dad Which Rescued Us when I became a New Dad

"I believe I was just in survival mode for a year."

One-time reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the demands of fatherhood.

However the reality rapidly proved to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health issues during the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her chief support as well as looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he burnt out. It was a conversation with his own dad, on a park bench, that led him to understand he needed help.

The simple words "You are not in a good place. You need support. In what way can I support you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His situation is commonplace, but rarely discussed. While people is now more comfortable addressing the strain on mothers and about PND, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers go through.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan thinks his struggles are linked to a wider inability to open up amongst men, who still absorb harmful notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets hit and remains standing with each wave."

"It isn't a show of weakness to ask for help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, says men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - especially in front of a mother and child - but she stresses their mental state is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the space to request a pause - spending a short trip overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states as well as the logistical chores of taking care of a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has reshaped how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo regular notes about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son better understand the expression of emotion and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen was without reliable male a father figure. Even with having an "amazing" bond with his dad, deep-held emotional pain meant his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "poor decisions" when he was younger to change how he was feeling, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as escapism from the anguish.

"You turn to things that aren't helpful," he says. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a New Dad

• Share with someone - when you are swamped, tell a family member, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. This might be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical health - nutritious food, physical activity and when you can, getting some sleep, all play a role in how your mind is faring.
• Meet other first-time fathers - listening to their experiences, the challenges, as well as the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help does not mean you've failed - prioritising your own well-being is the optimal method you can care for your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly found it hard to accept the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead offer the safety and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son is about to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - expressing the frustrations in a healthy way.

Both Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they faced their issues, altered how they communicate, and taught themselves to control themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, at times I believe my job is to guide and direct you on life, but actually, it's a dialogue. I'm learning an equal amount as you are in this journey."